It's Dangerous to Go Alone...Take This!

I had my first legit panic attack in 2005. No juicy details there, except it was terrifying and I was a college student. Rather than seek legitimate help though, I decided to buy a copy of the (then brand new) Choosing Death: The Improbable History of Death Metal and Grindcore and play my roommate’s NES. It’s an obsessive pattern I continued for a week, reading the book a chapter at a time, then listening to the albums discussed within while playing Contra or Faxanadu or WWF Superstars. I got better too. Like...I only had one more panic attack, 6 years later. Soon, I was conceptualizing death metal inspired NES games and making crude versions of them in MS-Paint. After trying to recreate the Realm of Chaos cover, I almost drove myself into another nervous breakdown and that’s when I decided I needed to get my ass back to class.

Here’s a relic from that weird time in my life, a recreation of Obituary’s Cause of Death on a 32x32 pixel board that I made on my phone.

Wrock Mixtape Vol. 1

 ...STREAM IT ABOVE (LINK HERE) ALL SPLICED TOGETHER WITH INTERLUDES AND SKITS AND SHIT. FOR YOUR LISTENING (DIS)PLEASURE

Tracklisting:

"WWF Superstars 2 Opening Theme" (Game Boy, 1992)

Jake Roberts Theme (WWF Superstars 2, Game Boy 1992)

"Trust Me [Jake Roberts Theme]" - (Jim Johnston, 1991-92)

Jake Roberts Promo (Sept. 1986)

Megadeth "Trust" snippet (From Cryptic Writings, 1997)

Tony Schiavone/Bobby Heenan - WCW Nitro 8-23-99

Death - "God of Thunder"  (Bonus from Human 1991)

Undertaker Entrance Theme (WWF Superstars 2 ,Game Boy, 1992)

Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase - Undertaker debut (Survivor Series, 1990)

Venom - "Buried Alive" (From Black Metal, 1982)

Agent Orange Interview Snippet (1981)

Agent Orange - "Living in Darkness" (From Living in Darkness, 1981)

"You're Standing on My Neck [Daria Theme]" (1995)

Wipers - "The Lonely One" (From Over the Edge, 1983)

"Pomp and Circumstance [Macho Man Theme]" (WWF Superstars 2, Game Boy, 1992)

Waylon Mercy - Worm Vignette (Monday Night Raw, 6-17-95)

KARP - "Bacon Industry" (From Self Titled LP, 1997)

"Dipshits" Interview Snippet (From Kill All Redneck Pricks: KARP LIVES 1990-1998, 2010)

KARP - "Get No Toys (When You Pay the Money)" (From Suplex, 1995)

Soundgarden - "Big Dumb Sex" (From Louder Than Love, 1989)

Rick Derringer "Real American [Hulk Hogan Theme]" (WWF Superstars 2, Game Boy, 1992)

Ultimate Warrior Soundbites (From his legendary 60 Minute Shoot on Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea, 2011)

NAME REMOVED - Back with a Bang (From Back with a Bang/I Don't Like You, 1982) [Chill out Tumblr warriors, if Merauder covers it, I will put it on my GD mixtape)

Vince Mchmahon says a naughty word to John Cena (Survivor Series, 2005)

Jim Johnson "No Chance in Hell [Vince McMahon Entrance music] (1999)

Merauder - "5 Deadly Venoms" (From the 1998 Demo with Eddie Sutton)

Pentagram (Death Row) - "Sign of the Wolf" (live in Virginia 5-18-83, VHS Rip)

Radio Birdman - "The Hand of Law" (From Radios Appear, 1977)

The Mountie v. Big Boss Man Video Package (Survivor Series, 1991)

The Mountie - First Theme 

Jimmy Hart and J.J. Maguire  "What a Rush (Legion of Doom)" snippet 

Rush - "The Trees" (From Hemispheres, 1978)

Gary Hart - "Armaggedon Promo" (World Class Championship Wrestling, 1983-1986-ish)

Abdullah the Butcher (soundclip from aftermath of 1986 Vengeance match with Carlos Colon)

Lard - "Forkboy" (From The Last Temptation of Reid, 1990)

Kermit the Frog Introducing Alice Cooper on the Muppet Show (1976)

Alice Cooper - Halo of Flies (From Killer, 1971)

A collection of "Pyscho" Sid Vicious botches

Obituary - "Intoxicated" (From Slowly We Rot, 1989)

"Mean" Gene Okerlund says a naughty word (Summer Slam 1989)

Straight Ahead "Not Afraid" and "Right Idea" (From Breakaway 12", 1987)

Artificial Peace - "Wasteland" (From Flex Your Head Comp, 1981)

No Comment - "Hacked to Chunks" (From Downsided, 1992)

Terry Funk Soundclip (From Beyond the Mat, 1999)

Monster Magnet - "Nod Scene" (From Spine of God, 1991)

Dave Wyndorf - Interview snippets from German TV (1998)

Sonic Youth - "The Diamond Sea (clip)" (From Washing Machine, 1995)

New World Order Theme Song (1996)

Sleep "Dragonaut [Live]" (From Live in Denver, 9-5-10)

Monday Night Raw Original Theme (1993)

Koji Kondo - "Invincibility Theme" (From Super Mario World, 1990)

Dub Diablo - "Disco Headache Remix" (2000)

SpacEKrafT - "Convergence" (from  Jodorowsky's Dune OST 2010)

Additional sounds pillaged from Koji Kondo's Original Arrangements in Super Mario World (1990) and from the "Gifted" episode of Daria (1998.)

Crossover Quarterly #1: 5 Nugs of Metal Mania for Norman Coreman

We luv u dark continent--goodnight.

1. Power Trip's Future in Film Scoring
After SXSW 2012, my GF became the first member in our relationship to see Power Trip live. She describes the experience as "horrifying" because she saw a 12 year old get brained with a trash can. This was all it took to get me to set up an interview with Riley, their vocalist. We talked all manner of nuggety shit, namely: Monster Magnet and LSD. Here's an excerpt for a "forthcoming" interview which has been in development hell since iOS 5.

 If you could lend one Power Trip song (let's just say "Hammer of Doubt") to any film scene what film do you choose?  

I'd either replace Cannibal Corpse in Ace Ventura Pet Detective with us performing instead of them, or redo the soundtrack to Wayne's World with all our songs so Wayne and Garth come across as actual metal-heads and not two assholes who listen to Aerosmith. -Riley Gale

Beyond the realms of DEF

2. Bob Belmonte Beyond the Realms of Death
Because Rock N' Roll Disgrace is the best label ever (The reaper logo, rubber stamps and the Battle Ruins EP make it so) I conducted an interview with CEO/head honch Bob Belmonte where the conversation quickly drifted from Mott the Hoople and The Bruisers to mustachioed rockers of seasons's past. Who doesn't have an opinion on Judas Priest though? Here's Bob's. 

Judas Priest or Iron Maiden? 

Priest = Stained Class = bottom of the gene pool kids try to blow their heads off to it and now one looks like gonzo = I listen to this once a day = when I'm buried, a cassette walkman will be on my head playing “Beyond The Realms of Death” = if I was gonna be the "point of entry" for some dude it would be Bob Halford! (laughs).

This is a MAAAD world

3. Reed Mullin and The Obsessed getting salty about punx + signing to Metal Blade (feat. Slayer)

In the time I've written for music mags, I've never really gotten too "star struck" (except when I interviewed Wyndorf ). When C.O.C.'s self-titled record dropped, I got to chat with Reed Mullin and the discussion was every bit as nerdy and nuggety as I could've hoped. Talk of Void, Pushead, DC hardcore and a ton of other material that didn't make it to print. Here was one of my favorite anecdotes, transcribed by me from a digital recorder. Read the piece that made it online here. 

Me: I dig all the different "eras" of C.O.C, but honestly Animosity is my favorite. I heard it when I was super into Metallica and DRI and it just fit while my cement was wet. And since Animosity came out on Metal Blade... 

Mullin: (laughs) I've got a good story about Metal Blade. We'd done some touring off of Eye for an Eye, and for its time it was pretty "crossover." When we played live, it sounded pretty heavy and it was a weird thing for an American Hardcore band to have as much metal influence as we did. For one song we used the word "cornucopia" and the song "Redneckkk" is just a Black Sabbath song sped up! We did lots of touring and became friends with that first generation of thrash bands like Death Angel, Dark Angel, Metallica, Slayer and Anthrax. Their scene was still in the beginning ages, relatively small compared to how big it got later. We were friends with Slayer and got a show on their first American tour, I think it was Haunting the Chapel, in Baltimore. At the time we were pretty popular in Baltimore and the bill was The Obsessed, Slayer and us. So we get there and we're all stoked because we usually have good shows in Baltimore, and this is when Slayer was touring in a Trans-Am and a U-Haul trailer. But there's some hubbub because the Obsessed refused to headline for a "punk" band, so there was some drama. The place was packed anyway, but it made Tom [Araya] and Dave Lombardo and the rest of those guys mad like 'we don't know these fuckin' Obsessed guys!' and we were kinda like 'who cares? let's just play. The place is packed.' It was a great show and as we're packing our stuff and the Obsessed is setting up, Slayer and their roadies took the stage. 'Now we're gonna play so you don't have to play with a 'punk' band.' Anyway, Slayer plays and it's like a popcorn machine with people flying all over the stage. After the show they're loading up their trailer and Lombardo and Tom were like 'dude, you guys gotta get signed!' and getting signed back then was an anomaly for a band like us. They offered to talk to Brian Slagel for us. It was nice of 'em, but I didn't think anything would happen. Sure enough though, Monday morning in my Dad's office fax machine, there was a contract with Metal Blade … and that's how we ended up putting out Animosity. Slayer hooked us up!

"WTF! Cinderella?!"

4. This drawing of Jorge Merauder watching Headbanger's Ball with "Bong in Hand."

The title pretty much "speaks for itself" here (-Stigma), but for background context: somewhere along the way, I conceptualized a zine that exclusively dissected metal/HC vids from the Headbanger's Ball era. The project fizzled out (mostly because the other writer was flakey) and since I had too much on my plate I scrapped it. Videos we had planned (including corresponding illustrations): Morbid Angel "Rapture," Pantera "5 Minutes Alone", Biohazard "Punishment," Voivoid "Astronome Domine" and of course Merauder's "Master Killer". The above image of Jorje was to be the cover, though we never really did come up with a title. It was the spiritual predecessor to Crossover Quarterly though (itself a paper zine that will probably happen once every 8 years). For now, just enjoy the image and think about what could have been. Seriously. Imagine Jorje, seated in his throne from the "Master Killer," throwing shit at his TV every time Rachtman made the call for Poison's "Satisfaction."   

"This next song is called 'Chopped in Half', and it's about the price of fettucini alfredo every Tuesday."

5. This crayon drawing of Obituary

I hate going out to eat at "nice" places. I hate getting dressed up. I hate paying $68 for soup served in a bowl no bigger than a sacrament cup. I hate how they don't put "$" next to their prices in the menu (fooled us guys!). Essentially, I just hate every facet of the whole GD experience. On occasion I can talk my girlfriend (you know, the one who saw Power Trip before I did in the first paragraph?) into eating at dumpy suburban chain restaurants like Olive Garden. I dig these joints. They don't bat an eye when I ask for crayons and a children's menu, and you can bet your ass that unlimited breadsticks and a Ginger Ale isn't going to run me an entire day's wage. Here's a good, waxy memory from a weird time in my life. Indeterminate members of Obituary (it's actually based off a "Threatening Skies" vid I found on Y-tube) scratched out entirely in shitty Rose-Art crayons (more wax than actual pigment) that restaurants always have. My girlfriend is perpetually embarrassed of me and my (lack of) taste...and this is certainly no exception. Unbenownt to her though, this drawing is hanging up at an Olive Garden somewhere in Sandy, Utah and so that's basically like having it hanging on Guido God's fridge.